The following guidelines for play at Crop Circle Golf are strictly enforced.
Please take the time to ready through them all.
* These rules are not to be taken seriously and do not pertain directly with any formal golf course.
If you can’t laugh at them, then take your game elsewhere.
Course Rules
- No metal or rubber spikes. Bare feet (or flip flops) encouraged. (NOTE: A mandate of covering up may be enforced by Club Pro if the determination that your feet are ugly. All decisions are final.)
- Proper attire required (No long pants; white socks must be worn with shorts; hats are allowed; sleeveless shirts recommended, bikini tops ok.
- No profane language before 1 pm.
- All tee times start at 1 pm.
- Slower players must give way to overweight players. If you are slow AND overweight, then you automatically win.
(Afer all, we don’t have a defribulator or medical staff on site). - All divots must be replaced (eventually). If divot travels further than the ball, then next shot is where divot lands.
- No spitting
- Alcohol is encouraged.
- Removal of clothing may ONLY take place BEFORE any shot, and not during greens play
- Distracting opposing players is encouraged
- Opposing players with jokes about spouses is not allowed (unless separated or divorced; or if they are in attendance)
- If alcohol runs out during play, player with lowest score must make immediate packy run
- No running (you can poke an eye out)
- Not more than allotted strokes per hole (you could go blind)
- Range balls allowed.
- No more than 14 players on course at one time.
- No refunds due to weather conditions.
- No throwing of golf clubs; unless it really was a bad shot.
- Please, no cameras allowed on course.
- No food allowed on course. Beer? That’s another story.
- Clothing MUST be worn November thru April.
- The color PINK is not allowed on course. (doesn’t go with the curtains) (speaking of this, curtains don’t have to match the rugs, if you know what I mean!).
- Coupons only redeemable if accompanied by case of beer
- If you want a coupon, bring 2 cases of beer
- Cell phones must be turned off or put on vibrate while playing
- Cash is encouraged, bounced checks will be put up on web site for public viewing.
- Corporate Sponsorships are always welcome!
- Every player is allowed 2 shots (strokes) per hole
- Closest to the pin after 2 shots = 5 points
- Hole in 1 = 10 points
- Reach the green in 1 shot = 3 points
- 2nd closest to the pin = 3 points
- 3 closest to the pin = 1 point
- Hitting the ball over the fence = minus 5 points, and ball will be repositioned near fence where ball went over
- Balls may be repositioned to improve lie in fairways
- Only 2 clubs may be used per player per each round
- Obstructed shots may be repositioned by 1 club length
- Water hazards are in play
- Cart path is in play
- Rose garden is in play
- Tomato patch in play (I hate tomatoes)
- Players spouses are in play (if present)
- Annual Crop Circle Golf Course Celebrity Tournament will be held every July 4th.
- Registration is $10 and includes 4 rounds of golf, 4 hamburgers, 2 hot dogs, 5 chicken wings, and a bag of chips
- Start time: 9 am (morning coffee break: 10:00 am)
- Award Ceremony: 6 pm (dancing begins at 8 pm sharp!)
- Hootin’ ‘n Holleran: until Police arrive. (or my neighbor to the WEST sends me another letter... dick)
- 1st Place: 1 year FREE golf at Crop Circle Golf Course, a photo with the Board of Directors, a wallet, a key chain left over from another golf tournament, a golf ball, and all leftover hamburgers and hot dogs.
2nd Place: Sterling Silver Crop Circle Golf Trophy enscribed “I almost won First Prize at Crop Circle Golf Course”,
and all redeemable beer cans.
3rd Place: a second bag of chips. - If more than 3 participants, then all players not in top 3 places are losers, but will be encouraged to attend next year.
- The results of any Tournament made by the judges is final. Should you have a question or beef as to the results... contact Tournament Officials. If you still wish to appeal any decisions made by officials, tough luck!, go out and build your own course.. (BTW: The official enjoys Beer and Gin & tonic)
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